Watermelon Muffins From Hell

I’ve been getting cocky lately. I’ve had so few kitchen mishaps that I’ve been darn near considering myself an expert cook/baker. Things have been turning out so well: I haven’t set anything on fire, I’ve only set off the smoke detector a few times (and really it’s not my fault, the stupid thing is quite finicky), and all meals have been more than just edible they’ve actually been good. I guess I needed a good dose of reality to bring me back down to earth. Enter in Watermelon Muffins from Hell.

Don't be fooled by that cute little heart shaped muffin on the left, 
he's just as evil tasting as the others.

If I was being graded on my cooking/baking skills, today’s report card would look like this: FAILS TO FOLLOW DIRECTIONS!!! F- Oh I was so excited to make these muffins. I had my farm share watermelon sitting in the fridge eager and waiting. I bough all the necessary ingredients – even if it meant going down to the corner store when at the last minute I realized I didn’t have baking powder. I didn’t even try to fudge it and just go without like I might have in the past! I really tried! I popped them into the oven and I watched as they rose, and then to my horror they sunk in the middle like there was a black hole sucking the tops down towards the bottom of the pan. What’s happening? I wondered. Perhaps it was a side effect of the watermelon? No worries, I thought, I bet they will turn out ok in the end.

Then came the taste test. They smelled good. But boy were they were ugly. It’s inner beauty that counts though, right? And then I got cocky again. I mentally prepared to title this blog post “Inner Beauty” and wax on about how these muffins ‘aint winning any beauty pageants but how wonderfully delicious they are. I had all my metaphors about muffins and life lined up. But let me tell you something, when a muffin is ugly on the outside sometimes it’s ugly on the inside too. These muffins tasted like sin. Well, I guess that’s a big over dramatic. They didn’t taste like muffins, I can tell you that. They tasted disgusting. Bitter, strange, and like chemicals. Like nothing I’ve ever tasted before.


So what went wrong? What I have since pieced together is that it all came down to one simple little letter: a B. I was so excited to make these muffins, and I was in a rush because I needed to get back to work, and I just didn’t pay attention. Listen kids, tbs does not a tsp equal.


I deduced that the disgusting flavor that I tasted was the near doubled amount of both baking soda and baking powder. While the recipe called for a TEA SPOON of baking powder and two TEA SPOONS of baking soda, in my stupidity I used TABLE SPOONS. Gah! Well at least I learned something today, following directions is important. I’ve been considering taking some cooking classes at the Cambridge Center for Adult Education, if this doesn’t confirm my belief that I am in dire need of them than I don’t know what does.


These muffins aren’t even remotely salvageable. To the trash with thee! Muffin fail.
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If you would like to try your hand at the recipe here it is, compliments of Healthy Home Recipes:


Ingredients -- 

• 1/2 cup Flour
• 2 tsp Baking soda
• 1 tsp Baking powder
• 1 pinch Salt
• 1/8 tsp Cinnamon
• 6 tbsp Butter, room temperature
• 2/3 cup Sugar
• 2 Eggs
• 1/2 cup Milk
• 1/2 cup Watermelon juice
• 1/2 cup Watermelon pulp
• 1/2 cup Raisins

Instructions --

• Sift flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon in large bowl.
• Cream butter and sugar; add eggs.
• Whip in milk, juice, pulp and raisins.
• Add wet mixture to dry ingredients; blend just to incorporate.
• Fill greased muffin cups 2/3 full.
• Bake 25 minutes.

Transfer to wire rack; cool.
Note: a few drops of red food color can be added for a watermelon color.

Toasted Watermelon Seeds

All week I've been posting for the blogathon to celebrate Farmers Market Week here in Massachusetts... for more info about the blogathon see my previous posts this week. Unfortunately due to packing I couldn't post every day like I had hoped, but there are some good ones from earlier this week, check 'em out! There comes a time in every young amateur chef’s life when she asks: “Am I doing this right?” For me that moment came today when a watermelon seed exploded, startled me and sent me jumping backwards stepping into my cat’s water dish. “WHAT?!” you are probably saying. I guess I should backtrack and start at the beginning….

I received a watermelon in this week’s Enterprise Farm farm share. I immediately ate half of it for lunch. I like watermelons. It runs in my family. When I was younger my sister and dad used to have “Watermelon Club” after dinner where they would each indulge in many slices each. Sometimes I participated but I was much more of an ice cream girl.

Watermelon seeds drying on the window sill

While eating my watermelon lunch I wondered to myself: Are watermelon seeds good for anything other than spitting at your little sister when she’s not looking? Can you eat them? This led me to Ye Olde Trusty Google. You can eat the seeds! In fact, it’s part of Egyptian culture to roast the seeds and eat them. Watermelons are native to Egypt? Who knew.


I saved the seeds from my half of already eaten watermelon and decide to chop up the remaining half and remove the seeds from there as well. This left me with a little handful seeds. The whole process seemed relatively easy. Step 1: Wash. Step 2: Dry. I patted them with a paper towel (which they stuck to) and then decided to spread them out on a plate and sit them on my windowsill in the sun. Success.

Step 3: This is where things got tricky. Heat a pan and place the seeds in the pan. Stir them around until their roasted. How was I supposed to know when they were thoroughly roasted? I figured I would give it the old eyeball test. After a few minutes they looked pretty good. Then POP! One of the seeds shot off of the pan and directly at my face! POP POP! Two more seeds! It was sort of like popcorn. I took that as a sign to mean they were done roasting.

Step 4: Pour a cup of salty water into the pan and boil and stir around until it all evaporates. I made a bit of a mess here, there was no indication for how much salt and I figured the more salt the better… they’re supposed to be salty, right? Fail. I ended up with some seeds and salty sludge. So I tried again by removing some of the salt and adding more water and trying all over again. Success. No gross clumps of burnt salt this time.


Step 5: Cool and dry. Then enjoy!

I ate one of the seeds fresh out of the watermelon and I’ll say it wasn’t bad. Though roasted salty watermelon seeds were pretty good they really just tasted like a salty, toasty, drier version of the former. But isn’t that what all seeds taste like anyway? They tasted a bit like if pumpkin seeds and sunflower seeds merged. One website told me you’re supposed to bite off the exterior in your mouth to get to the inside meat but that was just way too much work for me so I ate the whole thing as is which was pretty good without all that effort. I suppose I might try this again, but more likely I’ll make “seed adventure number 2” happen when I receive a pumpkin later in the season -- even though I find the insides of a pumpkin kind of icky.


Word of advice: Go easy on the salt, you don't need much. I wish I had something fun to eat these with like baking them into muffins or a salad on the horizons to toss these into. I guess i'll just eat them on their own, still good! :)


Cheers!